You are extraordinary!

Hello sweeties <3

OMG~ I was starting to write this post already 2 weeks ago...yes I am a bad blogger. But you know how it is - life takes up all your attention sometimes ;)

As you might already guess from previous posts there was one major change in my life BUT I am not going to talk about that today...or in the future that is ;P I want to talk about something rather unrelated that somehow is totally related xD

I could not be happier with how things are at the moment and still can't stop thinking serious and sometimes not so happy thoughts. I want to share some of these thoughts with you because I think you might have the same thoughts from time to time as well and maybe knowing that there are people out there who have the same fears make you feel less alone. And hey, maybe my advice in dealing with those anxieties might even help you ;D

To this day I often tend to compare myself to other people - mostly women. Most of the time I also tend to pick out only one point, compare it and in my head I end up on the shorter end. There might be someone taller with long wavy hair that I want but don't have. Or someone seems smarter than myself. At times like these I only see those great qualities that I might not have, forget about what makes me special and feel depressed or even worthless. I try to change myself for the world, to be more ideal or what I perceive to be ideal. I forget that I also have traits that are adorable, great etc. BUT instead of falling into a deep pit of self-pity and depression (like so often in the past) I try to stop my destructive thoughts and try to see what I love about myself on better days.

So what if I am not tall? I am on the shorter side, that makes me kinda adorable. I don't have an elegant face? Well, mine is round and I have sparkling eyes...I am cute like that. I am not a dancer, artist or something else I wanted to be as a child? Hell, I am a princess, that is far better. You can have long conversations with me about serious and silly things. I am a rather creative person, I love to decorate. And people love it when I smile. I might not be perfect and I might not have everything that I adore on others - but I am the best me I can be at the moment. And hey, there still is space for improvement, right? ;)

So, my point is, try telling yourself all the good things about yourself once in a while when you feel you are not as good or great as everybody around you. You are special because you are you - don't try to be someone elso only to please other people.

As Xander from Buffy already said to Dawn once "You're not special. You are extraordinary!" Never forget that whatever the world may throw at you - you are you and that is the best you can ever be ^o^

Both pictures found on Upworthy - Credit goes to the creator and of course Joss Whedon :)

So~ this was a serious post for once, the next will be picture heavy again - I promise ;)

Have an amazing evening <3

xoxo

Follow your dreams!

Hello sweeties <3

"Follow your dreams!" - That is an easy and also great thing to say but there are not many people really following their dreams. When we are young most of us are full of dreams and we still believe that every one of those dreams is possible. We believe that we can be a princess, a superhero or a superstar. But, lets face it, growing older we learn so much more about the world and we already got our hopes broken for what feels like a million times and thus we stop dreaming those big sparkling dreams. We are afraid that if we dream big we also might fall very very deep. And hey, truth is, this might happen more often than we hope for. Thus we tend to make our dreams shrink...until we are certain that we can achieve them and hey, if not it won't hurt as much, right? Well, I think this is rather sad because, yeah, we might fall harder if we dream bigger but in the end making our dreams smaller only not to get hurt is like betraying the most important person in your life - yourself! 

I know damn well that my dreams are totally outrageous sometimes and if I would tell people they would send me to a psychic ward without further notice...but does that keep me from having and believing in them? No! Because at times if you feel like you are all alone in this world and nobody seems to have a care for you to spare those dreams are the only thing keeping you from giving up. I have to admit that I am to big of a coward at the moment to set things in motion and realize one of my biggest dreams...the wall I created for many years now is still too big to just jump over...but I am not giving up just because of this obstacle. I just know that for me (and everyone else who believes) there is something big waiting at the end of the lane - we just have to fight for it!

picture taken by Markus Windeisen

 So never give up even though it seems impossible to go on at times!

xoxo

Stop Dreaming and grow up...

...NEVER! If growing up means giving up my precious dreams I rather stay immature and childish forever than grow up and lose my dreams, that the rest of the world might deem childish, unrealizable and immature.

However small or big, realistic or unrealistic you think your dreams might be - don't stop chasing after them! There might even be a chance that at the end of your life you will not be able to realize every dream you had but in the end when you look back at your life and what you did you can be full of regrets that you didn't try OR you can look at your life and say "Yep, I did the best with what I had!" and be proud of what you reached. So, whatever age you are, whatever status in life you possess at the moment, if you really believe in your dreams and yourself you can be everything :) You can either give up without trying or be a superhero, right? ^^b

The possibilities you have are the possibilities you take for yourself. If you don't take a leap of faith once in a while nothing changes...you are the one changing yourself, your future and your possibilities - don't rely on others to give you opportunities!

picture from http://www.damncovers.com/be-a-unicorn-fb-cover/

Have an awesome weekend <3

xoxo

I am Shinji...

Hello sweeties <3

as the title suggests (or maybe not at all xD) I want to talk about something that follows me around for nearly 15 years already. Yes, I am talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion. Once every year I get the urge to watch the series and the movies and once every year I understand a little bit more what the show wants to tell me. I won't go into a deep analysis of the show as there are really good ones on the webz already - what I want to talk about is what the title says: I am Shinji...maybe we all are?

(c) Gainax and Sadamoto Yoshiyuki

I have to say while watching the show I pitied him, I hated him and sometimes he just annoyed me but looking deeper into his character I saw many traits that I also call my own. For example I want to be acknowledge by others, I need people to tell me that I did something good as many others also do...as I don't think that this is all to bad as only through other people we see ourselves BUT relying only on others words and praises makes you dependent. If those words go away nothing is left and you fall into the pit of selfpity...as happend with Shinji in the anime. 

(c) Gainax and Sadamoto Yoshiyuki

Another point is the meaning of the AT field - it symbolizes the barriers between humans...as much as we might love or know someone we can't really fully understand another person. Shinji is struggling with this situation pretty much and so do I. As I count myself as a rather socially awkward person most of the time I can't read people to well...I second guess everything I want to say and do pretty often BUT I think this is a struggle everyone has to go through and as hard as it may seem it is only human. Because knowing every tiny bit of another person would drive you crazy...I think End of Evangelion makes a great point there. As convenient as it may be to know everything about everyone it wouldn't really work in my opinion ^^"

(c) Gainax and Sadamoto Yoshiyuki

So, in the end even if I disliked the character he is a mirror of myself - or at least partially ;) Same goes for Asuka who is showing her loneliness in a totally different way~ In the end we are all only searching for a place in this world~

Did you watch Neon Genesisi Evangelion? What did you think about it? Yay or Nay?

Have a nice day~

xoxo

Memories - a funny thing

Hello sweeties <3

It is a funny thing with memories - when time passes the "sparkle" they get grows bigger and bigger. Shortly after an event that might have been great the memory of it is, although fond, just a memory of a nice event. But looking back on things after years have past the memories begin to "sparkle" somewhat.  Sometimes over time our mind even adds little things that might not have happened during the real event and hence it grows even more special. 

The funny thing is sometimes I can't even distinguish what part of a memory is real and what part was made up by my mind - and I don't think that this makes me crazy in any way. It is funny, while in school I didn't particular like going to school are had fond feelings for the place but looking back after this time all I can think about is the good things and even the bad things aren't bad anymore. I am no psychologist so I don't know if there is a description for what I am trying to describe but I know that this happens to many people. We tend to put our past into a soft focus and put sparkles on it...and here we have the twosided sword. On one hand seeing the past as only good stops us from dwelling on the bad things, on the other hand we tend to run away from the present into thoughts of the "glorious" past.

And now, my readers, you might ask why the hell I am talking about this? Well, it was just a random thought that dropped into my mind this morning and I wanted to share it with all of you :3

I hope your day is as sunny as mine~

xoxo

My reason for blogging...

Hello sweeties <3

Again I want to talk about something more serious. Recently I have been thinking a lot about why I am writing this blog. To be honest, and you all might have noticed already, I don't really have a special talent. I can't really draw that well, although I try on a regular basis. I can't sing to good, although I love to do it as often as I can (and not only in the shower x"D)...and I am possibly the most awkward person that I know of xD When I am around people I often don't know how to do the appropriate thing...and this seemingly boring awkward person is already writing a blog since 2 years and over 100 people are interested in what I have to say. I am really really grateful for that! Thank you so so much for following me <3 

But although it is nice for my ego to have as many readers as I have, I didn't start my blog for that reason. Initially I wanted to write about me being a Lolita and still having so many different hobbies outside of that. And since than my blog got a life of its own *hahaha* I have so many ideas for new posts...makeup, fashion, music, books, anime...so much to talk about with no clear line to it all...it is just me and my sometimes crazy life *hihi* Now this blog has become really precious to me as I can share things I really love with the world~ Therefore I hope you will keep on reading my blog and maybe you will find some inspiration here <3 <3 <3

Have a nice evening my lovelies~

xoxo

Those friends...

Hello sweeties :)

Actually I wanted to keep this blog all positive and cheery but well, today I want to talk about a more serious topic as it is on my mind for a really long time now. But first, let me ask you a question: Do you also have those kind of friends, who only make you feel bad/not goodlooking (you name it) so that they can feel better? Well~ I had those friends in the past and I let myself get influenced by them so much that I am still uncertain about myself sometimes. 

So, what is my point you may ask ;) Especially in a fashion like Lolita or in any other fashion at that point there are people who have low self-esteem and instead of working on the flaws, they dislike on themselves, they make themselves look better through making people with even lower self-esteem feel bad or they give them bad advice so that they look more beautiful. Some years ago I also was bothered by this kind of behaviour, I felt that I was not good enough and such but than I realized that the only one who can make me feel good or bad is me. So I slowly worked to build my self-esteem and I failed often but now, at the end of this year 2012 I can say that I am on a good way. So~ also for you, whatever people might say to you about your appereance, way of thinking or whatever, as long as you do everything with all your heart and believe in what you are doing, you are doing great ^^ Don't let those friends who need to make you feel bad to feel their best bother you and live your life the way you want it~ Keep your head up high, you are awesome!

Meeting an old friend ;)

Hello sweeties <3

How are you? Sorry for not blogging for a rather long time but to be honest there was not really something blogworthy that happened during the past two weeks. Well I went too visit my friends in Erlangen last week but other than eating and talking and eating again we didn't do that much ^^" But I still have some pictures for you ;)

I met the Sandman from my childhood...not the creepy one who comes into your dreams and gives you nightmares. well~ for me the "GDR-Sandman" is the only real one *hahaha*

That makes me feel all nostalgic :3 I really loved to watch it when I was small...I also kinda hated it because watching it meant that I had to go to bed short after xD

Here is one outfit I wore during that weekend that I really like...I decided I would go without Lolita for that weekend just because I was to lazy to bring all the stuff with me ^^" I kinda regretted it at one point but well...decided it didn't matter and that I could still have fun without being all dressed up *hahaha*

I think most of the stuff I am wearing is from H&M ^^" I love that store atm...and I love those shoes so much...they may not look like it but they are super comfy *_*

I kinda like that picture of myself...don't ask me why...maybe it is the shoes xDDD I also love the dress...I think it is really gorgeous...when I saw it in the store I didn't really like it and thought it looked like some curtains but after trying it on I totally fell in love :3

If you ever visit Erlangen you have to eat at Hiro Sakao...best Japanese Food there :) The Udon were awesome <3

Well~ that was last weekend for me...realized how much I miss my friends and how much I want to be with them but at the same time noticed that I can't keep on living in the past and clinging to memories...although I still love all my friends and don't wanna miss them in my life, me living so far away from them now definitely changed some of my relationships...but I think this is also a good opportunity for me to change myself and get one step closer to the person I want to be *hehehe* Except from this insight I also decided I definitely will celebrate my birthday in Japan next year *hr hr hr* Wish me luck on that plan ;)

Thanks for reading my random outpouring~ m(_._)m

Love and Kisses <3

Shatter my Illusions...

*sighs* Without words...I love Nobu <3

Did you watch the anime? Read the manga?

Some friends often tell me that I am kinda like Hachi when it comes to love...and I am not sure if thats really a good thing...well it isn't I think, but still Hachi is the one character from the story I can connect to the most...like she is feeling really lost and lonely and is just trying to fill a void...and her actions seem totally random for others...most people really seem to dislike her character but well, I can relate...not that I don't know that I myself turn into a total retard when it comes to love but well, can't change who I am though xDDD

So, do you have characters from a TV series or anime you can relate to? Tell me, the Nerd in me really wants to know *fufufu*

Lats of love and kisses to my sweeties <3